It is becoming evident to me, even at this later stage of my life as a single, that I am developing my spoken (as opposed to written) voice. As the partner of a vibrant, excited-about-life man who usually filled the room with his ebullient sharing of what each day had brought him, I was the listener, the nodder, the completer of the sentences he abandoned before their end, as the next one was already coming. People loved his enthusiasm. When he passed away I soon began to struggle with the feeling of now being only half of a couple. There was a husband-sized gap in my personal space that went with me. I didn’t know that I could or should fill it. I hadn’t learned that it had to be me, my Self, who filled it. And this is what I’m discovering now – two years on.
I have developed some new friendships with people of wonderful character. I find that in talking to people, asking questions, listening wholeheartedly, there are some amazing life stories to glean. I have two new girlfriends who, like me, were their husband’s helpers, supporters, mates, advocates, to the suppression perhaps of their own strengths and individuality. We three meet once a fortnight to share a meal, a bottle (or two!) of good Barossa red and some ripper equally shared conversation. So satisfying to come home after having expressed ideas, passions and irks freely, intelligently and sometimes hilariously. All three of us are now business women in our own rights, carrying on what our husbands started, built, and have now left us. None of them (all three mates as teenagers) were ready to go. Each had so much left to do, and we are doing our best to honour them with our decisions but also to build new lives for ourselves – our way, and to meet our new needs.
And I have met another amazing woman. In fact we have known each other and lived in the same town for many years, but only now, as she too has lost her husband, have we found there is such a commonality between us that a broad friendship is developing. I thought WE had an adventure when we travelled the Outback for two years in the seventies. She and her husband did the same in India. Not for as long, but the stories she has to tell about their odyssey are absolutely gripping. Her husband – Paul Trappe -was a renowned sculptor who exhibited his work world-wide. His works were usually large. I remember asking him once about how he decided what to make of a mass of stone (some of them 2-3 metres high). His answer was possibly a quote from some other famous sculptor but he said ‘I just free the form that is already in the stone.’ Profound.
Gerlinde, his wife and now my friend, was the administrator, project manager, pulled all the strings to make the installations work. She has written a book about Paul’s work and their lives. A large and important commission was from the city of Northeim, Germany, to create a fountain in the town square. To quote from her book –
‘In 1953 I visited Northeim for the very first time on a bicycle trip from Eschwege to the North Sea. At that time my father was building a bridge for the Autobahn that crossed the river Leine. Little did I know that six years later I would marry into the Trappe family and this town would become home to me. ………………………………
…… In his sculpture Paul wanted to take into account the historical significance of this square, but also to reach into our time, to build a bridge between the past and the present. He wanted his design to be in deference to the community work of the people who live and have lived in this town. With these preliminary thoughts, his concept emerged.’
To quote Paul himself – ‘In my fountain sculpture, three chief wardens of yesteryear represent the citizens of Northeim today. There were three major guilds – the merchants, the bakers and the shoemakers. As a group, these three stand for all trades as it is not intended to emphasise any particular guild. The three wardens meet at the well to fetch water.
The first holds a bucket from which water bubbles over into a large basin. The second pours water from a jug into the bowl of the third. The container of the third overflows gently into the basin below. The figures are engaged in a common activity and are connected by a threefold play of the water. The fountain will be a quiet work that invites contemplation. The figures, the moving water and the basin offer a different view from every direction’.
The high quality book of Paul and Gerlinde’s work (with glossy photographs) is called ‘Living Stone.’
You can imagine how stimulated I am by beginning to discover what lies at the heart of sculpture – a new medium for me to think about.
Art is everywhere. I guess what is in our soul, we see. Warren saw sheep, paddocks, crops, old Range Rovers!
It’s no secret I feel blessed to live in the Barossa Valley. It is a very artistic community, and there is an abundance of quality food, wine, and wonderful, generous people.
Life is difficult now for so many of us – for those who are restricted in their lifestyles, businesses, work.
See the beauty in every living thing, and keep safe.
Warmly,
Sue